It’s been a wild couple of weeks on the ranch. In under 24 hours Fern and Dandy both kidded – or in other words — delivered their babies. It triggered a lot of excitement and the usually frenzy of anxiety that comes with the gift of new life. There have been a lot of twists and turns and reminders that life is fragile and unpredictable.

Dandy gave birth to triplets on Halloween night. After taking Lainey trick-or-treating, we found Dandy and her babies all in good health. Two girls and a boy. I checked on them as best as I could by flashlight.

The next morning, amid the chaos of the morning routine, school run, and juggling a busy workday, I checked on Dandy and her new kids a few times. We had already named them – Kanoa, Pumpkin, and Izzy. Little Izzy seemed less active than her siblings, but I wasn’t ready to panic.

Then, a few hours later, Fern went into labor, and she needed some help. I was glad I was there for this birth because she had trouble pushing out the first of her two girls. Fern is a small doe and I had to do some pulling for her with Paisley who is considerable larger than her sister Dixie, who emerged seconds later. The other challenge with Fern is that she is not friendly or trusting. We acquired her as an adult and she’s kind of a cat version of a goat. This has made it hard to check on her and her babies.

Distracted by Fern’s situation and focused on my day job, it wasn’t until a few hours later that I noticed poor Izzy was still not thriving. I decided I needed to intervene. It didn’t seem that she was able to properly nurse from her mama.

I brought Izzy inside and tried various interventions from warming her up with a space heater (her body temperature was low) to trying to give her cow’s milk via a small syringe. A helpful Facebook group advised me to get colostrum replacer which isn’t easy to come by where we live. It would be several hours later before I could secure some.

In some ways, I feel like I let little Izzy down. She passed away less than 48 hours after entering the world. Sweet little girl, barely weighing a pound, waited for me to leave the room before she passed away. I launched into autopilot storing away the supplies I had been using to try and bring Izzy back to health. I gave her rigid body a few gentle pets. I placed a few kisses on her head as I breathed in the sour milk smell lingering on her fur from my efforts to give her substance. I spoke a silent prayer.

I wasn’t totally surprised she didn’t make it. I didn’t fall apart. Maybe I am getting ranch tougher. Maybe we didn’t have a chance to form a close bond. Maybe I just didn’t have the bandwidth to grieve at that moment. So many maybes and what ifs.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.

I was sad for our daughter, Lainey, though and grateful Izzy passed away while she was at school. Lainey was looking forward to bottle feeding and caring for Izzy. Bottle-fed babies grow into very tame, loyal, and loving pets. I knew Lainey would be disappointed.

God, however, had another plan in mind. Hours after Izzy passed away, I noticed that Dandy was rejecting her newborn boy, Kanoa, every time he came around. I tried to put him on her udder to nurse, and she snatched his tail with her mouth and flung him away.

So, we have a bottle baby after all. It’s much easier to take care of a healthy baby goat. Little Kanoa did nurse from his mom for a good 48 hours and obtained all those healthy antibodies from mother’s milk. Dandy’s responsibilities as a mom have changed dramatically in a short period from caring for three kids to one. Now, I am doing nightly feedings and enjoying bonding with this wild little man.

The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.    

Sign up for fresh posts delivered to your inbox.